Would you please come out of the pantry?????

Yes, my Littles like to play in the pantry!!!

There really isn't a lot of room in my pantry.....so, I'm not sure what they do in there. (??)

I know, doesn't that sound horrible???

The only thing, I think, they can do is just stand next to the bag of dog food.  Kinda weird!!

However, this 'playing' does give me a few minutes to....ummmm,.....go online aand read  blogs!!

Okay, who am I kidding??  A few minutes? Yeah right!  A few minutes usually turns into 10, no maybe 20, truthfully probably more like 30 minutes!

But wait, please do not think my Littles are in the pantry for 30 minutes!!!

They are not!!!  Really!

 After a few minutes, before the bag of dog food can be knocked over, I will ask them to please come out of the pantry!!!

Yesterday, after I asked them to remove themselves from the pantry....please......

Shea had this to say:

"Mom, I am sad and a little scared."

I'm thinking this she's feeling this way because she did something in the pantry that she should not have done.....like maybe she scared Avery.....

Since Shea truly looked sad (and a little scared), I thought we should talk.
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Me:  "Honey, what's wrong?  Why are you sad and what is making you feel 'scared'?"

Shea: " I am scared of monsters. And, I am sad because I don't understand why my foster momma couldn't  keep me."           

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting her to say that!
Holy Cow!!!
I just asked her to come out of the pantry....
I wasn't expecting to have this conversation at. this. moment!!!


 Shea and I have had similar conversations.....
But they have occurred at bed time not during the day.....
And, quite frankly, it's been a while...


(Insert panic)This was not the 'normal' time.....Ha! What is 'normal'?  And this most definitely wasn't about me and my comfort level....
So, I had to put on my big girl pants.....and be the mom Shea needed....at.this.moment!!

Me: "Yeah,.... monsters can be scary! But, you know they really are just pretend, right?"

Shea:  "I know, Mom. (sigh) They still scare me, though."

Me:  "I understand. What should we do about it?"

Shea:  "I don't know.....maybe you could just hug me."

Me:  "Of course, come here......"

We {Avery, Shea & I} snuggle ourselves together....
BTW, Avery is very actively & intently listening to this 'talk'......

Me:  "So you are sad about your foster momma.....????"

Shea:  "Yeah..."  (long pause)  Why couldn't she keep me?"
       
Me:  "Well, I think she was very happy to care for you..... until Daddy and I could come to China and adopt you."                         

Shea:  "Oh, I didn't mean her....I meant my other mom."

Me:    "Your first mom?"

Shea:   "Yeah, her.  Why couldn't she keep me?  It makes me sad...."

Holding her closely.....trying to fight back my tears.....so she could feel free to cry.....

Me:  "Oh honey, I don't know....I just don't know....."

Waiting for a response from Shea....

Me:  "You can feel sad....it is sad.....I am so sorry...."

Shea hugs me tightly....Avery hugs me tightly....

Me:  "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me."

Shea shakes her head....

Me:  "You can always talk to me....about anything.  I hope you know that,....right?  I will always listen to you no matter what. I don't know if I will always have the answers you want or need....but, I will always, always, be here for you.  And, I will always, always love you!!!

Shea:  "I know, Mom. I love you!"

Avery:  "I lub you, Momma!"

And then, they were off....
Laughing & playing!

Like a quick down pour of rain, this talk occurred....
Hard & fast....
Abruptly stopping....
All traces of the rain disappearing....

Oh, how I love these girls of mine!!!  My 'pantry girls'!

 Side note:
I am realizing that this is and will be an ongoing 'talk'.
And the more we talk about Shea's past (and eventually Avery's) and anything else...the more comfortable it becomes.
The more questions she asks, the better...she needs to get it out....she needs to know that she can...
She needs to feel free to do so....

I always get so nervous....
I  want to say 'the right thing'.....
But, what is the 'right thing'????
I think that Shea and Avery however, just need to feel safe...
They need to know that they can express their feelings to me....
What ever they are....

And I am realizing that Shea is still a little confused about the roles of her foster mom and first mom...
We have talked about both of them before.....
She was younger....haven't talked about this in a while....
I am sure it is hard for her to wrap her head around all of this....
Foster mom
First mom
Me....

Oh my!!!

So, we will continue to talk...
Continue to be open & honest...
Just....continue.....

And then when Avery begins to share her past.....ask her questions......
Shea and I will be there for her.....

Isn't that what families are all about????

Sisterly compassion....and a little righteous indignation as well!!!

Last week, I took Avery to our pediatrician's office to begin re-doing all of her immunizations!!!
She also needed some additional blood work.

Yeah....lots of fun!!!

Shea came along....(I had to take her.)
Shea absolutely despises shots...I mean, really despises shots!
She will stress out for days, if not weeks, for an upcoming shot.
A few months back, someone had mentioned to me about the H1N1 shots being available at her school....
Well, Shea heard this comment and worried about getting a shot at school...
Needless to say, we skipped this shot 'opportunity'....it just wasn't worth all the drama.....


Shea began stressing out on behalf of and for Avery as soon as she knew about the shot situation... Avery was kinda clueless....
Luckily, I told Shea & Avery about this visit the day before we were to go...
Otherwise, who knows what kind of frenzy Shea would have worked herself and Avery into.... (????)

You have to know that all the way to the doctor's office, Shea was complaining..... 

"Why do we have to have shots?"
"Why does Avery need them?"
"When do I get my next shot?"
"Who came up with this shot idea anyway?"
 On and on and on, she went....

We arrived at the clinic, checked in, and waited.
We were called back to a room where two very lovely nurses were waiting...
Shea began to get worried...
Avery finally realized what was about to happen!!!


I sat down with Avery...
Each nurse took an arm....
Four shots were quickly given!!!

Avery was crying hysterically....
The nurses left....I knew they felt badly....giving shots is no fun!!!
Shea also began to cry....

Then......

Shea stood up and stated rather loudly the following:

"Those nurses are naughty!!!!
And I don't like them!at!all!!!
(Please imagine if you would, a small, but determined five year old, standing firmly with her feet apart, arms crossed, and jaw set with a look that could stop you dead in your tracks!)

Oh! my! goodness!!!
And we still needed to get Avery's blood drawn!!!!!

On we went to see the friendly phlebotomist....yes, the lucky person who got to draw a few vials of blood from Avery!!!!
Wooo-hooo!!!


And yes, this story gets better....

The phlebotomist had a student with her...of course...
.
Would I mind if he {the student} drew Avery's blood????
At this point, I was thinking....
Sure, why not????  Good luck!!!!

To his credit, he was very gentle, compassionate, and well,....good!

Shea drilled asked him how much blood he was taking and told him she did not like what he was about to do to her sister. !!!!!!!!
He told her he was just taking 'a little' blood....ummmm, not really....

Poor guy...

Needless to say, Avery began to cry A LOT and Shea became extremely angry as this procedure began and endured.....

 Four vials later.....
One hysterical Avery....
One hacked off Shea, who by the way, accused the guy of not telling the truth.....because he took way more blood than just 'a little'!!!

Yeah,.... I was slightly embarrassed.

We all tried to get ourselves collected & calmed down...
I apologized  for all the 'drama'....
(We really created quite the commotion.)
He graciously acted like it was no big deal.....(probably glad to see us go!)


As we were walking toward our car....
Shea turned around and loudly exclaimed the following:
You would think I would anticipate these outburst by now...

YOU ALL ARE NAUGHTY!!!!!
EXCEPT FOR THE LADY AT THE {check in} DESK!

Oh for Pete's sake!!!!

Lesson to self:
Shea will not accompany me to Avery's next set of immunizations or any thereafter!!!  Ever!!!!

This is what you call "Sisterly Love"!!!!

Sunday Snapshot {Prelude to becoming a Nurse}

      

Faith is majoring in nursing.
She finished up all her pre-requisites last semester....
She is on the 'waiting list' for the Nursing program.....
She will have to 'wait' until January 2011 before she can get in to the program....darn!

So what's a girl to do??????

How about a job working as a CNA????? (Certified Nursing Assistant)

She works at an assisted living center.
She works the early, early morning shift.....Did I say early????
She works part-time....about three days a week.
(She still works at American Eagle...can't give up the perks of that job...40% discount, baby!!!!)

She is learning a lot.....
compassion
patience
understanding.

She is making dear friends with the residents.....
They miss her on her days off...
They share stories of their lives with her...
They tell her jokes....
They give her advice!!!


This 'job' she has is probably more of a 'ministry'....
I know the Lord is using this opportunity to shape her, grow her, mold her....
I know this experience is preparing her to be the kind of nurse that God wants her to be....someday.


I don't think just anyone can be a CNA....
I takes a special person to lovingly & cheerfully serve the residents their food.....to help them bathe....to help them get dressed....to administer their meds.....to listen to them.

I am proud of my girl!!!!!

A very interesting conversation.....

Last week Sunday as we were traveling {a long eight hours} home from Scott & Stephanie's wedding shower, we stopped at yet another  gas station....for the Littles....so that they could go 'potty'....yet, again....

I had an unexpected, interesting, and maddening conversation with complete strangers!

As Shea, Avery, and I were rounding a corner in the gas station.... looking for Daddy, I noticed a woman who noticed my girls.  She was happily stating {to someone} that the girls were Chinese. (I didn't know at the time who that 'someone' was.)  She seemed genuinely excited that my girls were Chinese.  She, herself, is Asian. She did not notice me....this is where it gets interesting....

All of a sudden, we were all face to face....She, her husband, me, Faith, and of course, Shea & Avery. 


Conversation that followed......with Shea & Avery present!

Lady:  Are 'the girls' Chinese?
(Big smile on her face.)
Me:  Yep, my daughters are Chinese!!
Lady: Your daughters????
(You should have seen the look on her face!  One of total confusion...)
Lady:  Is your husband Chinese?
Me: No, he is not.
(This lady is now totally confused!)
(Then on cue, Dave appears...)
Lady:  Then, how....??  You are white (as she looks from my husband to me)....how are they your daughters?
Me:  They are my daughters through adoption.
Lady: (As if a light bulb just turned on...) Praise the Lord!!!
Me:  Yeah,....ummmm, yeah!
Lady: Praise the Lord!!! (Big smile on her face!)
Me: (smiling as well....it was contagious....) What is your ethnic origin?
Lady:  I was born in the Philippines....
Lady: (then, quite unexpectedly) I can't have kids.....
(Her eyes well up, tears begin to fall down her cheeks....)
Me:  I am so sorry....really sorry!
(My heart is aching for this woman.....really aching!
I look closely at her....I realize she has been so sincere....really sweet....a passionate woman, who isn't afraid to express her feelings....She was truly excited to talk to me....she was very happy to see my Chinese kids...I guess....)
Me:  Have you ever thought of adoption?
Lady: (trying to answer, but abruptly cut off by her husband,....)
Man (who made me angry): No!  I am not really into that adoption thing!!!
Me: surprised and offended beyond words!!!

I mean really, this man said that right in front of my girls!!!!!
And what about the 'I' thing...is this just about him??? What about his wife?? How does she feel about adoption??
Boy, I was steaming....

However,
I gathered my composure...
Looked the woman straight into her eyes....
And told her that I would pray for her!
She simply said, "Thank you."

We left, got into the car and rode away.
I was....I don't know what I was...so many emotions were swirling inside of me....
Compassion for the woman
Anger towards her husband
Confusion about....well, the whole darn encounter....
It was weird....so I thought....

As we were driving, I started to relax and think about this encounter....
I started to pray....
I started to wonder....
I mean, I was really moved by this woman and her husband....grrrrr....


All of a sudden, I realized that perhaps this was no chance encounter...
I think God gently touched my heart.....and then gently reminded me of His love for all people....and how He uses ordinary, if not weird, encounters for His purposes and His glory..

I think....
That God had orchestrated this conversation....
That God  allowed me into this private admission from this Lady...
That God would soften my heart for this Man...
That God would inspire me to pray for this couple!!!!
That this 'conversation' was so not about me and my feelings....
That this 'conversation' would allow me to feel love & compassion toward this Man...
That now, I pray for this couple....complete strangers....who maybe are not 'strangers' any more....who have found a place in my life, my heart.....

I pray daily that they would -
"Delight {themselves} in the Lord,
and {that} He will give {them} the desires of {their} heart{s}!"
Psalm 37:4

I am humbled by it all!!!!

(BTW,  Shea, who is always asking questions about EVERYTHING....
never asked me anything about this conversation.  Trust me, she usually asks about and then dissects everything and everyone...this time, not a peep.  I find that interesting....because I was bracing myself for the onslaught of questions and hoping that I could supply Shea with sufficient answers.....hmmmmm, like I said interesting.)

Sunday Snapshot {Daddy & his girls}

Today is my husband's birthday!!!

'We' took him out for lunch!

The 'Littles' were sooooo excited!!!

They love to eat......
They love to celebrate birthdays.....
But, most importantly....

They love their daddy!!

And, a great daddy he is!!!!

All his 'little' girls love him to pieces....

Especially his first little girl...who isn't so little anymore.....(sigh!).



We are all so blessed to have this man in our lives.
He is an amazing father to all his children....
He has been a great role-model to our grown sons...
He has and is loving & supportive to our daughters....

He still brings a smile to my face & a flutter to my heart!!


Happy birthday, honey!!!!
You're the best!!!

(No pictures of the 'wife'....someone had to man the camera!)

Almost Wordless Wednesday {Wedding Shower}

I know I'm not suppose to have any 'words'.....
(I didn't have any 'words' last Wednesday so I'm due for a few...)

My son and my future daughter-in-law!!!

The 'Moms'....looking half way decent.....emotional and all!!!

 Happy emotions!!

"Let's Go to Dora!"

Huh?

Avery has been repeatedly expressing this desire....

"Momma, letsee go todora!"

I must admit that I was quite confused by this request....

Yes, she enjoys watching  Dora the Explorer....

And yes, she is wearing a Dora dress....(a hand-me-down from Shea)

However, this comment of "going to Dora" came at the most random times.....(at least that is what I initially thought...)

She would say "letsse go todora" while we were riding in the car picking up Shea from pre-school....
She would say "letsse go todora" in the kitchen while I was preparing lunch.....
She would say 'letsse go todora" after church...

I would ask her if she wanted to watch Dora on TV...

"No Momma!"

I would ask her if she wanted to play one or our Dora games....

"No Momma!"

I would ask her if she wanted to sing the Dora song....

"No Momma!"

Yikes!!!

We were both getting frustrated!!!!!

Finally, one day last week it all came together.....

I asked Avery if she wanted some ice cream.  Of course, she said yes.  (smart kid!)
When I went to the freezer, I realized that the ice cream that I thought was there....wasn't!
(I like to blame this on the 'big' kids...)
I told Avery that the ice cream was all gone....
She responded with....

Can ya guess???

"Letsee go todora!"

Huh?????

OH!!!

I understood what she was saying!!  (Insert Angels singing.... "Hallelujah!!")

"Let's go to the store!"

Avery was very pleased that I finally knew what she was saying.....

So, naturally....

We went to the store....

And, bought some ice cream!

And all was right with the world....

At least, Avery's world!!!

Wordless Wednesday {I need some water...}

"Christ is Risen!"

Happy Easter!!!

Hope you all had a wonderful day!!!