Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A very interesting conversation.....

Last week Sunday as we were traveling {a long eight hours} home from Scott & Stephanie's wedding shower, we stopped at yet another  gas station....for the Littles....so that they could go 'potty'....yet, again....

I had an unexpected, interesting, and maddening conversation with complete strangers!

As Shea, Avery, and I were rounding a corner in the gas station.... looking for Daddy, I noticed a woman who noticed my girls.  She was happily stating {to someone} that the girls were Chinese. (I didn't know at the time who that 'someone' was.)  She seemed genuinely excited that my girls were Chinese.  She, herself, is Asian. She did not notice me....this is where it gets interesting....

All of a sudden, we were all face to face....She, her husband, me, Faith, and of course, Shea & Avery. 

Conversation that followed......with Shea & Avery present!

Lady:  Are 'the girls' Chinese?
(Big smile on her face.)
Me:  Yep, my daughters are Chinese!!
Lady: Your daughters????
(You should have seen the look on her face!  One of total confusion...)
Lady:  Is your husband Chinese?
Me: No, he is not.
(This lady is now totally confused!)
(Then on cue, Dave appears...)
Lady:  Then, how....??  You are white (as she looks from my husband to me)....how are they your daughters?
Me:  They are my daughters through adoption.
Lady: (As if a light bulb just turned on...) Praise the Lord!!!
Me:  Yeah,....ummmm, yeah!
Lady: Praise the Lord!!! (Big smile on her face!)
Me: (smiling as well....it was contagious....) What is your ethnic origin?
Lady:  I was born in the Philippines....
Lady: (then, quite unexpectedly) I can't have kids.....
(Her eyes well up, tears begin to fall down her cheeks....)
Me:  I am so sorry....really sorry!
(My heart is aching for this woman.....really aching!
I look closely at her....I realize she has been so sincere....really sweet....a passionate woman, who isn't afraid to express her feelings....She was truly excited to talk to me....she was very happy to see my Chinese kids...I guess....)
Me:  Have you ever thought of adoption?
Lady: (trying to answer, but abruptly cut off by her husband,....)
Man (who made me angry): No!  I am not really into that adoption thing!!!
Me: surprised and offended beyond words!!!

I mean really, this man said that right in front of my girls!!!!!
And what about the 'I' thing...is this just about him??? What about his wife?? How does she feel about adoption??
Boy, I was steaming....

I gathered my composure...
Looked the woman straight into her eyes....
And told her that I would pray for her!
She simply said, "Thank you."

We left, got into the car and rode away.
I was....I don't know what I was...so many emotions were swirling inside of me....
Compassion for the woman
Anger towards her husband
Confusion about....well, the whole darn encounter....
It was weird....so I thought....

As we were driving, I started to relax and think about this encounter....
I started to pray....
I started to wonder....
I mean, I was really moved by this woman and her husband....grrrrr....

All of a sudden, I realized that perhaps this was no chance encounter...
I think God gently touched my heart.....and then gently reminded me of His love for all people....and how He uses ordinary, if not weird, encounters for His purposes and His glory..

I think....
That God had orchestrated this conversation....
That God  allowed me into this private admission from this Lady...
That God would soften my heart for this Man...
That God would inspire me to pray for this couple!!!!
That this 'conversation' was so not about me and my feelings....
That this 'conversation' would allow me to feel love & compassion toward this Man...
That now, I pray for this couple....complete strangers....who maybe are not 'strangers' any more....who have found a place in my life, my heart.....

I pray daily that they would -
"Delight {themselves} in the Lord,
and {that} He will give {them} the desires of {their} heart{s}!"
Psalm 37:4

I am humbled by it all!!!!

(BTW,  Shea, who is always asking questions about EVERYTHING....
never asked me anything about this conversation.  Trust me, she usually asks about and then dissects everything and everyone...this time, not a peep.  I find that interesting....because I was bracing myself for the onslaught of questions and hoping that I could supply Shea with sufficient answers.....hmmmmm, like I said interesting.)


  1. Definitely not a chance encounter... your reaction was so lovely, to offer to pray for her... you never know what seed was planted!!

  2. I read (I think in "The Prayer of Jabez") about divine appointments, & then if we sought them, we would actually have more of them. It can be an intimidating thought, yet when I realize I do not need to lean on my own understanding or ability, but just make myself available, it's pretty awesome! And it's very cool how God gave you His perspective on your encounter!

  3. love it! I love GOD's mysterious ways! They may not always make sense, but they happen for a reason :))

  4. Your reaction is perfect! It's so what God intended for this encounter. I will say a prayer for this couple too.

  5. I have no doubt that GOd put you in just the right place at just the right time...and gave you just the right words to fulfill HIS purposes for the situation! I will join you in praying for this couple!

  6. Wow! I truly believe ALL things flow through God's hands (even the strange ones :). What a testimony to God. I mean you could have used harsh words to this man, but God talked to your special heart and used this time to be calm and tell her you are thinking of her. We have no clue the prayers on her heart--for adoption--for children--. God placed you in a very special place and time for you to have compassion on her. I love how God uses His children to minister to others while teaching us to be more like Himself. I think it soooo neat! Praise you Father that even through our growth to be more like your Son You are there meeting everyone's needs. Even when it hurts sometimes. :)

  7. "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!" - Romans 11:33

    He truly has mysterious ways. Way to be God's instrument, Mrs. B!

  8. Wow Chris! Your reaction was truly wonderful and I hope you have planted a seed.

  9. Yes, your response was perfect of course...now me on the other hand as their Aunt, I would not have had such class at all. Your awesome with your gentleness and control, if I had been there it may have ended a bit differently!! But that's only because I love my nieces...ALL of them!!!

  10. One of my friends calls those chance encounters God-incidences instead of coincidences.

  11. Good for you Chris to allow the Holy Spirit to work through you in that very moment and then afterward in your prayer for this couple.
    God is at work!

  12. Chris, I think that you didn't just plant a seed~ I think that you planted, watered and fertilized! Well done!

  13. What a lovely response. I am sure I would have been much less diplomatic. I've had people say similar things, thankfully not in Li'l Empress's hearing range. I don't think I handled them all that well. But then again, they were family, and that brought it to a whole 'nuther level :(

    And may your kind and gentle response be the balm that her spirit needed and the NUDGE to shape up and re-think that her hubby needed.

    Ooops, did I say that out loud?! :) :P

  14. Hmmmm, these chance (HMP! No chance...part of God's perfect plan) encounters are VERY meaningful!

  15. I will join you in praying for that couple ~ that she will be able to realize her dream of being a mother and that he will embrace the full joy of adoption.