Becoming sisters just doesn't happen over night....
It is a process.
There are a lot of issues to sort out....
The 'littles' both had/have some accepting to do...
Some adjusting .....
some navigating....
some negotiating....
For Shea this journey of sisterhood has been filled with anticipation....
As well as some trepidation....
She has been
This has been hard for her to give up - the exclusivity.
Since Avery has been home, Shea has expressed more than once the following statements:
"What's the big deal about Avery?"
"I am jealous!" (Which we all felt was very healthy for her to verbalize! We never really have to worry about how Shea feels about anything!!!)
"She doesn't know anything."
"Why is everyone looking at her?"
"It's dumb that she can't speak English."
"Why couldn't she be a baby?"
"I don't want to share my toys...or you [MOM] with her!!!!!!"
This picture kind of sums up how Shea can feel about Avery at times:
However, this very same child (the jealous one) has lately been showing extreme amounts of patience with Avery....letting her do things first....helping her to get dressed....comforting her when she is sad.....allowing Avery to play with some of her best toys!!!
My Shea....(sigh) she really has a big heart! And, always a big opinion with very strong emotions. (Lord help us when she is in middle-school!!!)
For Avery, heck....this little girl really had no idea what was coming her way...
And then to end up with a very jealous, dominating 5 year old sister...wow, way to hit the road running!!!
Avery had/has so much processing and accepting and trusting to work through. Overall, I personally think she is doing amazing.
Initially, Avery was intrigued by Shea...
She carefully watched her every move..
Tentatively joined in activities with Shea...
But, mostly played by herself.
Until lately....
Within the last week a lot has changed between the little girls...for the better...maybe there is a little love among the two....????
They are actually doing things together.
They play dollies....together.
They color...together.
They make huge messes all.over.the.house.....together!!!!
In fact, they knocked over one of my good lamps.....together.
Avery is getting a good grasp of the English language...
She says the following statement quite often now:
"Shea-dell, let's go."
"Shea-dell, come here!"
"Where are you, Shea-dell?"
"Hold hands, Shea-dell." (This one is my personal favorites!!!)
She also says:
"No, no, no, Shea-dell!"
"Mine!!!!"
"Stop it!"
"No, no, no, Shea-dell!" (Oh yeah, I already said that one....I guess I hear it A LOT!!!!)
There is much fighting, tattling, struggling for attention, and yes, even hitting among my...ahem....angels.....(??)
But, there is also this:
Playing together.....such sweetness!!!
I 'caught' them playing 'doctor' this morning....
And in a turn of events, which actually is quite surprising to me...
Avery played the doctor and Shea played the nurse. Ummmmmm, very interesting. I would have thought it to be the other way around......
Oh well, there will be no complaining on my part!!
Giving Shea a shot in her foot!
Taking Shea's temperature.
Looks okay.
Blood pressure...just a little squeeze.
Belly check.
Nose check. (???) I hope she doesn't find anything interesting in there!
Clean bill of health!!
Happy girls make for one very happy (and blessed) momma!!!
Amen to the "normal" part! Your girls sound just like mine...they fight hard and love even harder! Sometimes I feel more like a referee than a mother, but it's SO worth it! I'm glad your girls are forging their relationship so strongly!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that they are adjusting and beginning to enjoy this journey of sisterhood.
ReplyDeleteThat is great that they are playing together and learning to enjoy each other.
ReplyDeleteSome day they are gonna laugh their heads off at that pic of the arm across the screen - so funny!
ReplyDeleteThey will likely always have a delicate balance of the "together" and the "not so much" - it's the together times that will keep them loving on each other and able to weather the "not so much!"
Sounds like they are doing great and being very normal!! You are a great mom, I know you will teach them well. Instead of the two boys being so close growing up it will be interesting to see the difference girls make. How much fun! They are just so darn cute!
ReplyDeleteI worry about this all the time for us and our future, especially since the Tongginator is... well... the Tongginator. Thank you for helping to ease those fears of mine.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for letting us in on what the bonding is like for your two girls in your home. I am trying to get ready for the part where we come home and start living life again after China.
ReplyDeleteChris,
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that the girls are becoming sisters! God is really working on both of their hearts! Wonderful post!! Keep sharing!
It is auch a dance at first. Em and Lizzie rreally hit it off from the get go, but also began to fight like craze too!! They have good times and bad but they love each other very much now. They are sisters!!! It will continue to get better and better. They will have good moments and bad but the good will start to out number the bad. Sounds like the bonding process has defintely begun!!
ReplyDeleteIt is Mayhem. They especially stress me out when they play in my room, among all my expensive stuff.
ReplyDeleteThose are two beautiful girls forming a beautiful relationship. :) I love the top picture of Shea's arm, that's hilarious! And Dr.Avery knows what she's doing. Tell her in that first picture she's listening for Shea's bowel sounds, very impressive! ;>
ReplyDeleteGod's blessings,
Sarah :D