Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A time for Everything ~ Ecclesiates 3: 1- 8 {LOA!!! But not for Liam.....}

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

 Yep, this is going to be a tough post to write.

Our third adoption journey took a turn, an unexpected turn.  

A turn that has brought us to our knees......in sadness, in grief, in humbleness, in thankfulness.


It is beautiful and brutal.

It is filled with pain and sorrow.  It is filled with joy and happiness.

It is complicated.

It is complex.

It is unpredictable.

It is a faith walk.

For ALL involved.

For the child.

For the birth parents.

For the adoptive parents.

No easy answers.

No exact way of doing things.



God revealed to us, in His most perfect timing that Liam was not to be our son.

Our sweet Liam, a child for whom we prayed and loved during this past year.

Our son.

We dreamed dreams for him.

We envisioned him playing with his siblings.

We prepared our home for him.

But God had other plans for him and for us.


The same week we were to receive our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) for Liam, we also received some information about Liam that would rock our world.

After much prayer, we made a heart-breaking decision to not go forward with our adoption of Liam.

This was one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make.

We believe in our hearts that God revealed to us that Liam's special needs were something that our family could not handle. We are not to be blessed with the privilege of being his parents. We are not equipped.

This is humbling. This is numbing. This is heartbreak.

I just wanted to languish in my grief. My husband wanted to move forward.

We received a referral from our agency. My husband took the lead. I was very unsure.....I was numb.....I was also filled with sadness, guilt, regret, anger......I needed time....to sort through my feelings. But, my husband would not let me languish in my sorrow. My husband saw a bigger picture. He was leading, I was following.


We fell in love. We fell hard. We prayed for God's will. We submitted our PA (pre-approval) to China. Today we received China's Letter of Acceptance.

Our sweet son has an un-repaired cleft lip and palate.

He is young. Very young. He is only three months older than our grandson.



But we feel at peace. We believe this is the child who God wants us to parent. We are honored.

We are naming him Jude William. Jude means 'thanks' and 'praised'. My husband named him.

Liam will always be in my heart.  I still grieve and cry over him.  I have his picture by my bed. I pray for him constantly.

Our agency's China Director gave us some very comforting words.....she said that perhaps God used us this past year to pray and love on Liam as God was preparing the family whom HE has chosen for this sweet little boy. She said this past year Liam needed us in this capacity.

Who can understand the ways of God??? He is supreme. He knows what is best for us. He gave us Liam for a year. He used Liam to bring us to Jude.  

God has a plan for Liam.
Liam WILL have the family HE NEEDS.  
I believe this with my whole heart. I trust God completely.

For now, we move forward.
Forward to Jude.

Thankful to God.

Excited to love Jude.....to welcome him wholeheartedly into our family.....to hold him.....to kiss him.....to call him son!

"Always give THANKS to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20


  1. Oh, hun! I've wondered and wondered what was up, as I hadn't heard or seen anything lately. May I stand with you in praying for little Liam? That God's BEST PLAN for him be revealed and that the family that feels equipped and ready to handle all that he may need will come forward? And that HE comfort and heal your heart as only HE can?

    And heartfelt congratulations and joy at the news of sweet little Jude. I am partial to that name - raising my own "praiser" and seeing God's hand grow him in ways that assure me that HE always has it in HIS hands. Psalm 76 is an excellent prayer platform for our little ones!

    Hugs my friend.

  2. Praying sweet girl. I understand. I truly do. Kim

    1. Thank you, Kim!!!

      I've been thinking about you like crazy!!!

      I will be emailing you soon!

  3. Praying for you sweet girl. I understand. God is good.

  4. I am so sad for your experience but so very happy about sweet Jude. God DOES know best and directs our paths. Adoption is all you said sister!! Praying for your family and rejoicing in your future with Jude!

  5. Oh, and I forgot to say, welcome to the old moms of young kids club :) I'm BEAT with the level of energy this 2 year old of mine requires of me. BUT, she's so WORTH IT. Aaaaand, she'll still be home when I need MY diapers changed :) HA!!!!

  6. Dear friend, Your open heart and willing spirit to trust God on this path that He has set before you is one of courage, boldness and true faith. You continue to amaze me.

    I have been praying John 16:20 for you: "Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." Did you hear what Jesus said to you?

    Jesus doesn't say that you won't be sad anymore. Or, that your grief for Liam will be gone over time and all be will ok. Absolutely not! Jesus is telling the disciples about joy that is directly connected to the sorrow.

    So, my dear sister in Christ….There is a purpose for your sorrow for Liam. It is not in vain and it will not be wasted. I know that your sorrow WILL TURN INTO JOY. And the result will be joy and something amazing that you might never-ever-ever see this side of heaven. But, you are promised that joy. And our God is a God of promises.

    It doesn't amaze me that God is using you to remind us that even in the midst of sorrow, pain or suffering; good can be found from that mess and He can be glorified. For He turns our sorrow into joy. He's that kind of God.

    1. Awwww, thanks Julie!!! Thanks for the prayers and the very comforting words.

  7. P.S. Your husband is a very wise man….

  8. I LOVE how God works!
    Just stopped by to see how the girls were growing and saw this post. My heart breaks for you as I lift you up in prayer. I wish I could ease the pain but I only have this story to share...
    Our Emily Margaret was loved by another family before she was ours. That family even traveled to China and spent 2weeks there with her. If it hadn't been for them finding out she was deaf and realizing they weren't able to meet her needs, I wouldn't have my chinese mini-me today. :)
    God's blessings sweet friend, Sarah

    1. It is amazing how God works!!
      Thanks Sarah for your kind words and sharing your story!

  9. Rejoicing and grieving with you at the same time Chris.
    You and sweet Liam will be in my prayers!