Tuesday, October 12, 2010

{Her} Chinese Name... part 2.....finally!

"No one loved Zu La...." (click here for part 1)

This statement still takes my breath away...even now as I type it....tears are threatening to fall....

She whispered this....
I almost missed it....

Faith, my oldest daughter looked at me and said, "Did you hear that, Mom?"

We were instantly struck with the reality and the heartbreak of what Avery said.

She is only four years old!  No four year old child should ever have to feel that she was not loved!

No child *period* should ever feel this!!!!

Reality one:

Without revealing too much of her history, she was not an infant when she was relinquished.  She had lived with her first family for a while....

This is her first sense of loss.  How does one recover from this??

Reality two:

She had lived in a very progressive, well-managed orphanage.
She was bathed every morning.
Her teeth were brushed daily.
She knew how to color, cut, glue....
She had music and dance opportunities at her orphanage.
She was a part of many activities to enhance her social skills.
She had friends and companionship.

She was well-cared for....


She wasn't loved.  Her words, not mine!

She is only four!

She knows the difference!

This is heartbreaking!
As an adult, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this....

Did she ever feel special? Unique? Appreciated? Cherished?

Oh my sweet Avery....

You were loved!!!  You were treasured!!

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."
Jeremiah 1:5

"I have loved you with an everlasting love...."
Jeremiah 31:3

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands...."
Isaiah 49:16

"From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God."
Psalm 22: 10

"Your hands made me and formed me..."
Psalm 119:73

I am so crazy in love with this child!

She has a quite strength about her...
She is very compassionate and ultra sensitive...

Oh, how she loves to laugh!

She is constantly singing, humming,
and dancing through out the house.

She has a sparkle in her eye....

She has a tender heart....

She loves Jesus!

Avery ~ you are God's little princess!
Avery ~ you are His creation!
He will never forsake you or leave you!!!

Neither will I...... my precious one, neither will I!


  1. Oh my. Such heartache for a tiny gal. I love how her story had a reversal of destiny. Now she's LOVED by her forever family!!!
    God's blessings,
    Sarah :D

  2. Precious girl, no more. For the rest of your life you will have abundant love from your forever family. No more alone, no more not enough love, no more.

  3. Wow...it is amazing what their hearts & minds comprehend, & even more frightening that the enemy would begin planting lies like that in a young, innocent child. So thankful that she has her family to speak love & truth into her!

  4. Oh, my heart just breaks for her loss, and rejoices at the redemption. She is so precious!

  5. Your sweet, sweet Avery! She has endured too much for a child so small!
    All I know is that I am SO glad you are her mama now.... she will never lack for love again :)

  6. It is difficult to wrap your mind around that sense of loss at such a tender age, but praise God she will never again have to suffer another experience like that.

  7. Thank you for sharing this precious story! It is heartbreaking, but so very important to know.

  8. You are so right, no child should ever have to know that they were not loved. God loved her always. You love her now. I know this cannot change her past, but maybe it will help her heal. For this, at least, we can pray.

  9. Oh Chris that was just precious! Now she has that love that her little heart was made for! A love for Christ and a love of a family!

  10. Oh! WOW! What a beautiful post! What a beautiful little girl! What beautiful words of love.

    Chris, your so right. . . May your little darling always know this to be true!


  11. When I read this in the first post..my heart was broken also. She is a daughter of the King...and she is loved....forever:)

  12. Avery, what a joy you are! God loves you so much and your family too. God protected your precious heart all those years until Momma came!

  13. Your kids are just precious! I wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting my blog the other day- so sweet of you!

  14. I'm speechless! I love that for now and forevermore she will know of the King's love for her - and hope that someday she will grasp that His love was ALWAYS there!

  15. Sweet, sweet thing...I am ALWAYS in awe of how our Lord brings families together in these miraculous ways.
    A miracle...truly a miracle.

  16. Can I repost this on www.wearegraftedin.com--I think the readers there would really be touched by this post. Email me and let me know.

  17. That whispered phrase is more like a punch in the gut, it truly does take your breath away and make the tears fall.

    Sending up a prayer, that she knows that God, her loving Father, loved her as Zu La and as Avery. That she realizes that you, her earthly loving parents, loved her before you'd even met her, as Zu La, and that love only continues to grow. She has always been loved.

  18. Our first adoption was domestic (two boys we adopted directly out of foster care, we were never foster parents). We chose to change their names and we were heavily questioned on the ethics of this choice.

    We truly feel that when God sets aside someone for a special task He has given the person a new special name (Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Paul, etc) We were absolutely led by God in the renaming of them and they love their names.

    Their heritage is found in the Lord!